How to Ask for a Letter of Recommendation
Asking for a letter of recommendation is hard enough, but how can you ensure that your letter writer will remember the spiffy stuff that you want in your letter?
You tell them. :)
ID: Thumbnail of the digital download, After You Ask: How to Receive an Excellent Letter of Recommendation
This post explains how to prepare your references to write the best letters possible for you.
How to Ask for a Letter of Recommendation
To ask for a letter of recommendation, either send an email message or set up a meeting. A meeting is ideal, but sometimes a meeting is not possible.
The meeting or email serves two purposes: (1) to discuss your goals and ask advice; and (2) for you to ask for a letter of recommendation. You want to have the person’s full attention so that they understand what you are trying to do so that they can write you the best letter possible—if they agree to write for you.
During the meeting, explain what you are applying for and describe your goals. The person may have some ideas for you or know of other programs you should consider. Having a meeting helps ensure that you both understand your goals and your intention in applying.
Second, ask whether the person would be willing to write a letter for you. Now, just because it’s the faculty member’s job to write a letter for you does not mean the faculty member has to write the letter.
If the Faculty Member Says No
The moment is awkward. Likely, it is awkward for both of you. It may feel horrible. You may wish you could fall through the floor. But let’s talk about it.
Why is the faculty member saying no?
1. The faculty member may not understand why you are asking them to write a letter. They may think they are not a good fit or could not write a good letter for you.
One reason a faculty member might say no because they aren’t the right fit is that they are not sure what they could write about you. You’re great at math, but do you speak German? Have you been to Germany? How can they possibly write a letter for your application to a German literature program?
If the faculty member says no because they aren’t the right fit, very politely explain why you need this person to be a reference for you. The person you are asking may not understand that they were the only professor who learned your name and took time to give you feedback in the lab or on your homework. Explain why they are important to your application. With this understanding, the faculty member might change their mind.
2. The faculty member may say no to everyone, and that’s another issue altogether.
If the faculty member says no because they say no to everyone, then you probably heard that rumor before you asked. It’s not you; it’s them. Don’t cry. Go see the department chair or your advisor to discuss (and/or cry). You will be okay.
3. The faculty member may be a part-time instructor and does not have time.
If the faculty member says no because they are a part-time instructor who does not have time to write letters, accept this, and try to understand. Explain why you chose them; perhaps they did not understand their influence on you. But ultimately, if they say no because of time, accept this refusal. Part-time instructors do not get paid to write letters of recommendation and writing letters is time-consuming. They just don’t. Full-time faculty (including full-time high school teachers) get paid to write these letters as part of their jobs. But part-time instructors are not compensated.
4. The faculty member may not want to recommend you.
If the faculty member says they cannot write a good letter for you, ask if you can do anything to change the faculty member’s mind. I have seen faculty members provide parameters that will enable a student to earn a letter. These parameters are often related to citizenship: attention to deadlines and details; treatment of others and participation in activities; do better work, etc. If your faculty member offers these parameters and you agree, follow up with an email detailing your understanding of these parameters.
If the faculty member continues to say no, thank the person for their time, and leave. Consult your advisor, professor you trust, department chair, or graduate school student assistance office for guidance.
When the Faculty Member Says Yes
But even if the faculty member is the perfect person to write a letter for you, the work of a writing a letter brings questions: When did I meet this student? In 2015 or ’16? Fall or spring? Did she win the graduate award for her paper? The letter writer may question every fact they know about you and spend more time looking for answers than writing a letter. The last thing you want from your best supporter is a vague letter of support.
Prevent questions. Tell faculty how to write an excellent letter for you.
After a faculty member agrees to write a letter for you, you need to provide information that will help the faculty member write an excellent letter. This information will also help the faculty member who is in a different field.
Put All the Information in One Place
For each university or program or job to which you are applying, put together one page or email of information. Put all the information together in one document or one email message. All of the information should be together in one place.
Okaaayyyy, yes, I said that three times, but dumping it bit-by-bit into your letter writer’s email inbox sets the letter writer up for disaster:
Hello,
…I am applying to the following graduate programs…
Hello,
…X grad program wants a letter about how I am at research. Could you discuss methods in that letter?
Hello,
…Y grad program requests that you fax their letter to 999-999-9999.
Hello,
…Z grad program also needs an evaluation form to be scanned and uploaded with your letter. You can find it on ZGrad.edu…
All of these email messages must be found, sorted, and figured out. The worst is having to find a form or specific information on a website because the specific link was not provided.
You might think, well, the letter writer should just ask for a more specific link, but the letter writer may have set aside 9:30-11:30 pm to write your letter. It’s too late to call you, and if they email you, you may not respond until the next day, when the time they have set aside just for you has passed. The more minutes that speed by while they search for information, the more annoyed with you they become, and the fewer minutes they have to write nice things about you.
Put all of the information in one place. Make it simple for your letter writer.
TIP: But…if you do have one more thing…If you need to add one more bit of information, be sure to resend all of the information with a note about what you updated. The goal is to have information related to each together, not to have to tape the information together.
Download the Checklist
The checklist provides information to provide to each of your letter writers. This information will help them write the best letter they can for you.
Digital Download: Checklist: After You Ask: How to Receive an Excellent Letter of Recommendation
Personalize the Information for each Letter Writer
Do not be afraid to tell a letter writer that you need them to talk about you as an instructor or as a research methodologist or as a lab tech.
Be Honest about Deadlines
This last item may be a pet peeve of mine, but when a student provides the wrong date (presumably so I don’t miss the deadline), I become annoyed. I typically batch letters (due this week, due next week, and so on). When the deadline is wrong, it means I may have had to divide my time between two or three people, and if I had known the deadline was later, I could have spent more time on every person’s letters.
Also, when faculty miss a letter of recommendation deadline, it is usually okay. The university or program will allow the faculty member to submit the letter. What they may not do is allow the student to apply past the deadline. So you meet your deadlines and give faculty letter writers their proper deadlines.
Your thoughts?
I know from Twitter that faculty and students have opinions about letters of recommendation. What are some of yours?
